it is what it is....

A friend first referred to this statement after suffering a devastating loss of her own...there is no way to put this pain into words. The only comfort is knowing that "it is what it is" and there is no changing it. I lost my grandfather early this morning. I was lucky enough to talk to him only a few hours before, on a cordless phone, as he lay in the emergency ward in Saskatoon...surprised at myself for even phoning, I do not deal with these things well, I will forever cherish his voice, and being able to tell him I loved him, something that is never said enough, and being able to say good-bye.

What blows my mind, is just like that, things can change. Just like that a little boy returns home, just like that, a family member is lost.....and just like that, it's over. I keep replaying in my mind, seeing him sitting in his rocking chair. With his elbows on the golden wood arms, his slippered feet crossed, leaning a bit forward, to get in on the conversation. My heart aches for my grandmother, who for so many years, sat across from him in her own chair, sharing years and years together, where will her chair go now?? I cannot help but put myself in the same situation, the devastation and sadness that over powers me is too much....

My intention of this post is not to make people cry, or reply with their condolences, just simply to write it down....please hug someone today, and don't be embarrassed to tell someone you love them. I will forever be grateful I worked up the courage to tell my grandpa, even with the circumstances.

Grandpa, I hope they are right when they tell you that you are re-united with those you lost. I hope you find her....

K

xoxo

(no comments please)